A child brings a new dimension to my lifestyle. It means there must be a great deal more precise planning when engaging in any shenanigans, but if one of us goes out, the other can stay home with the baby, so each of us gets a break every now and then. I’m lucky to have found a secondary that loves babies, but when my husband and I originally announced our plans to reproduce, my husband’s secondary didn’t take the news very well. She has since come around, and has a healthy relationship with our son. She even babysits for us occasionally, so we can get some time alone together. We have a happy family and things are going well.
In the future, things are, of course, going to get more complicated. I have spoken to other poly parents about this, and they have had to deal with these issues already. There’s no clear cut answer to how to deal with being poly with children. It’s unique to each couple (or triad or poly-family) and their situation. In our family, we are still somewhat in the closet. My mother knows, my mother-in-law knows, but my father is still in the dark. And I’d like to keep it that way, as he’s somewhat conservative and very protective of me. Also, my husband and his secondary work together and we live in a relatively small town, so they’ve had to keep things somwhat under wraps. So while we plan to be honest with our son, what do we do when he blurts out to his grandpa that “Mummy’s friend slept over last night,” or whatever?
My husband and I haven’t decided how we are going to deal with the specifics, but we know we plan to be honest and keep things age appropriate. We have more detailed discussions about how to deal with the whole Santa Claus thing (he’s against it entirely, I’m for making it a game) than we do about how to deal with this. We seem to think we will deal with it as it comes along.
This is a pretty good source for answers to the questions other people might have. The bottom line is that I think living this lifestyle means that there is more love around, and a child that grows up surrounded by love is a child that grows up happy.