This past weekend, I went on a romantic getaway with my honey and left my baby-daddy at home with the baby.
I spent the weekend relaxing, enjoying the benefits of a huge spa tub (not unlike the one I gave birth in, but this time with Cham-pagne instead of actual pain!) a king size bed (for sleeping in, and I mean sleeping in!) and being away from my baby.
Don’t get me wrong, I love my baby. I love him to pieces, every little tiny bit of him, each of which is getting less tiny every day (he’s almost a toddler now!), but it was nice to have a couple of days to be something other than a Momma.
Being a full-time mother is not easy. Sometimes it takes me a while to get out of the habit of constantly narrating everything I do in the third person as “Mummy”, as in, “Mummy has to put on her shoes now,” or “Mummy’s going to cry if you throw your sippy cup on the floor one more time,” or “Mummy seriously needs a martini right about now.” Not to mention the feeding, changing, playing, comforting, supervising etc. And it’s only going to get harder. As it is, he’s recently begun climbing the stairs at every opportunity. I’ve had to put up a proper safety gate – originally to keep him from going down the stairs – to keep him from ascending while my attention is elsewhere engaged. The two weeks before my getaway were two weeks of new teeth coming in, along with the accompanying clinginess, crankiness and crying. It’s emotionally and physically draining. Not to mention the isolation of being out in the suburbs without a car most of the week.
Motherhood, as I’m sure I’ve mentioned here before, was not a role I saw myself in until very recently. The whole thing still strikes me as odd. I don’t feel like the Mommy/Mummy ‘type.’ Even though in some ways I enjoy being a domestic goddess – cooking, baking, entertaining – there are other aspects I really suck at – housekeeping…that’s it really. I chose this role for myself, so I’ve nobody to blame, but it still doesn’t feel like me most of the time.
A weekend away has made me feel more like myself. Or rather, being away from my role and my routine has made me feel refreshed and happy with it again. I’ve come back to my baby and my husband with renewed enthusiasm. It’s like the “me” muscles were atrophied and I’d only been using the “momma” muscles. But now I’ve had time to strengthen the “me” muscles so the “momma” side is balanced out and my life is easier to carry.
I’m so grateful to my boyfriend for whisking me away, and to my husband for being a single dad for the weekend.
Life is good.