For various reasons, I choose to be semi-anonymous on this blog but a little background might give you a little context.
Since 2007, I have been married to a wonderful man and we practice responsible non-monogamy. We’ve always been non-monogamous. We practice open, honest communication. In 2009 I had my first baby, and I want to be the best mother I can be for him.
(Edit: He’s still my baby, but he’s not a baby anymore. I can hardly believe how fast he’s growing up.)
As for my beliefs, I am an atheist, but I am spiritual in the sense that I believe in living mindfully, ethically and practicing kindness every day. I think by modelling healthy values like love and honesty, we can raise our son to be a good, moral ethical person without needing to subscribe to the monogamous lifestyle that is the norm in our society. We don’t intend to hide anything from our son, but we also don’t intend to flaunt our lifestyle in any inappropriate way.
Though there is nothing wrong with swingers, I wouldn’t define myself that way. My secondary relationships are often committed, real, meaningful relationships that exist on their own. My husband and I don’t restrict each other sexually, but we communicate often and clearly about our intentions and expectations. We are happy in our marriage because we continue to grow and share love outside of it. We probably wouldn’t have gotten married if we didn’t intend to have an open relationship. It’s something we share and it’s part of our mutual trust and respect for each other.
If you’d like to know more, or have any questions, please use the form below.
Thanks!
I was interested in how you meet other polyamerous people. Theres a space to fill in my heart, and maybe just conversation can cure it with some wine.
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My son was born in December 2009. I started blogging in November 2011. Since my son was born, my journey has been one of postpartum depression, cheating, therapy, and finally now I’m achieving authenticity. I’m on the verge of experimenting with dating outside of the marriage. Out of the dozens of blogs I’ve read through, I have found none as relateable as yours. It’s very comforting to connect with someone else’s writing. So thanks!!!
I could easily have written the very same words myself. Unfortunately, my marrisge did not open, but ended. Being poly was one ofnthe best decisions I’ve made for myself. I am constantly learning and growing, looking inward and accepting what’s out. Good luck on you journeys in both motherhood and polyamoury.
My partners and I are beginning stumbling through the conversations relating to having and raising children. It’s been incredibly lovely reading your blog – as one of the stress factors has been navigating our relationship style +child. Thanks for writing this.
Thank you for your blog, which reassures me that polyamory + family = not only possible but can be very fulfilling.
Hi PolyMomma!
I did not see a way to contact you so I am going this route. I am working on a dissertation on therapists and working with client[s] who are in alternative relationship configurations and was hoping to speak with you on this topic. If you are willing and interested, please contact me via my email that is listed with my name.
I look forward to connecting with you!
Lily A. Zehner
so happy to find you and eager for more info. for two years i’ve been involved with a woman married to a man. we are a triad, otherwise not open. he is not sexual by choice. they have two small kids. we are interested in connecting with other parents who may be in a similar situation that can share their experience, when they came out to the kids, what that was like, what the community’s response has been etc. can you please contact me via email with some leads on how to proceed? thank you so much.